The end of the lawn as you know it

We have visions from our childhood of lush green lawns to roll around it and look at the clouds. Forget it! You'll never see those again!

I'm back for one day from the cottage to do some stuff. In this one evening, I have to wash the underwear, trowel out the stinky mess called a fish tank, and mow down the weeds. I've always considered myself a very 'green' lawn man. I use a mulcher mower, I water just the minimum amount, I mechanically pull dandelions, I use very little fertilizer, never use insecticide, etc. All in all, I'm a saint! I had this one little, dirty, dark secret! I would hit some spots with the world's most toxic, deadly poison, called weed killer!

Of course, in Toronto, and Ontario, I can't do that anymore. I'd be labeled a horrible person, and they wouldn't collect my recyclables. But just try to keep a handle on the thousands of other nasty things that grow, besides those wonderful, fuzzy, edible dandelions!

Now, I only mention this, because other cities are falling for the bullshit of the la-la-land'ists. Don't do it! Don't oppose it totally, you'll lose, and sound like a world-poisoner. But their arguments, that they want the freedom to throw their babies and dogs on your lawn, don't wash. My dog loves lush grass to roll around in. She looks at the new Toronto 'standard' and just rolls her eyes, and not her body! Who can roll in a thorny, tangly, ugly mess?

So, work for a compromise, where you give up 'carpet bombing' with Agent Orange, and go for 'spot treatment' only, or some minimum standard. Don't allow them to make you a criminal, as you go with your tiny spray bottle at midnight! (I never do that!). If you actually do that, leave a token weed (no, not that kind!), as proof you don't spray!

If you are in a city hall fight right now, never ask them how other cities are faring -- they'll just say 'they are meeting expectations'. Do your own research with pictures!

The preceding was written by a virus on my computer! Please feel free to throw your babies and dogs on my lawn any day!