The Toilet Paper Wars

 Fiction Story  - yada yada

Once upon a time, the American voters got tired of insane leftyism, and voted for insane rightyism.

This president had a sanity level that fit in with everybody, and walked funny because he always had a naked blonde girl hanging on his back.

She would constantly whisper in his ear:  "Math is Hard", 

He hated Canada because it was either too cold or too buggy for the naked girl on his back.

He decided to stop all Canadian exports of toilet paper to the US to punish them.

Then the US had no toilet paper.  Because of a huge outcry of smelly people, he decided to invade Canada and steal all the toilet paper.  Worked well for him all the time.  

The US army had no ammo or fuel, but they could just walk over with flashy sunglasses.

The Canadians decided to follow the famous anti-Napoleon strategy of "Scorched Paper".  They blew up all the pulp and paper mills, and threw the stores of burning toilet paper to burn down the forests.  The Canadians used dried Maple Leaves.

The American Army had no choice but to withdraw.

The End.

ps We're not PAGANS!  We soon modified an automatic beaver-washing machine into the Maplette Smart-Enough Toilet - maple syrup scented.

The rational approach to 'fits of pique' tariffs

 We are now in a war position with a Hilter.  This is the approach to an invasion if he had toilet paper and ammo.  

As an intellectual exercise, we should be prepared for 300% tariffs on toilet paper.  Had the suppliers learned anything, they would have this in their contracts, a modified 'force majeure'.

 Upon the announcement of anything over 10%, all supply contracts to the US are halted.  All trucks stopped.  The purpose of a huge tariff is an act of war.  It is meant to slow down or stop the flow of goods. The halt is to adjust for the change in demand.  The US may decide to give up all paper products.

On the US side, they must immediately put the tariff to consumer to stop hoarding.  Tumpy hates that.  After all the gasoline price at the pumps goes up instantly with the world price.  We must assume a 'just in time' flow, and no storage.  The alternative is to put a limit on Costco customers, which is commie toilet paper rationing.

To stop the stupid US charge of 'profiteering', all the consumer tariff payments must go into escrow until things have settled.  You must get the demand sorted out.

There will be a huge demand for Chinese washing toilets, time to double those tariffs.

More sailors with itchy bums will jump off the ship.

ps there is no constraint that the tariffs don't go to infinity.  The only person at tumpy's ear is nibbling it.

The family condition

 With our family, I've noticed we start getting frail at 80 and pop off at 85.  My brother and sister are 13 years older than me, and anything they get, I get.  I've researched frailty for a long time, and it is caused by a million possible things.

Thanks to a world of over-scanning, someone had a full ct scan at 80, and it caught a calcified aortic valve.

A calcified heart valve occurs when calcium deposits build up on the heart valve leaflets over time, causing them to stiffen and narrow. This hardening restricts proper blood flow, forces the heart to work harder, and can eventually lead to aortic or mitral valve stenosis. [1, 2, 3, 4]

Key Facts About Valve Calcification

• Causes: Linked to aging, wear and tear, inflammation, and risk factors like high cholesterol, smoking, and high blood pressure (it is not caused by dietary calcium). [1, 2, 3]
• Common Locations: Most frequently affects the aortic valve, followed by the mitral valve. [1]
• Symptoms: Often silent early on, but later causes shortness of breath, fatigue, chest pain, dizziness, or a heart murmur. [1, 2, 3]
• Diagnosis: Identified and monitored primarily through an echocardiogram. [1]
• Treatments: Ranging from regular monitoring and medication for mild cases to surgical valve replacement or transcatheter procedures (TAVI) for severe stenosis. [1]

When calcification affects the aortic valve, it impacts the heart's primary "exit door". As calcium accumulates on the valve's three leaflets, they become stiff and less flexible. This progression directly determines how the condition is classified and managed. [1, 2, 3, 4, 5]

The progression typically moves through two distinct clinical phases:

Phase 1: Aortic Sclerosis (Early Stage)

• What it means: The valve has visible calcium deposits and thickening, but it is not yet narrow enough to block blood flow.
• Impact: The heart can still pump blood through the valve normally.
• Management: No immediate intervention or heart surgery is needed. Treatment focuses on managing general cardiovascular risk factors—like blood pressure and cholesterol—and monitoring the valve to ensure it does not narrow further. [1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6]

Phase 2: Aortic Stenosis (Advanced Stage)

• What it means: The calcium buildup has become so severe that the valve leaflets struggle to open fully, narrowing the exit path for blood. [1, 2]
• Impact: The left ventricle (the main pumping chamber) must work significantly harder to force blood out to the rest of the body. This extra workload can cause the heart muscle to thicken, weaken, or stiffen over time. [1, 2, 3]
• Management: Mild or moderate stenosis is monitored closely via regular echocardiograms. Severe stenosis requires intervention, which may include surgical aortic valve replacement (SAVR) or a minimally invasive catheter procedure called TAVI/TAVR. [1, 2, 3, 4]

The point of this being: they never notice this until you're dead.  At 85, with frailty, you may not live with the simple valve stent they put in.  Make a shitload of trouble and get it done at 80.

This may be a root cause of frailty.  This is caused by inflammation, and puts out inflammation.  More red wine is called for.

More advanced information like this and I'm good for 90.  Screw the great grandchildren!