Tuesday, June 11, 2019

Dear Dog

Dear Dog,  as you are aware there is a baby groundhog living in our garden.  It has eaten all the kale, peas, and lettuce.  You are a dog.  As part of your employment agreement, you are required to act as a dog and kill this thing.  I realize that you don't like salad, but your master does, and that should be good enough.

Dear Master.  Get over it.  I am a pet.  I am cute when required, I fetch frisbees and bring them back.  I tolerate the snotty little kids you keep pushing on me.  I keep the squirrels from attacking the house.  I do enough.

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