Tuesday, June 11, 2019

Dear Dog

Dear Dog,  as you are aware there is a baby groundhog living in our garden.  It has eaten all the kale, peas, and lettuce.  You are a dog.  As part of your employment agreement, you are required to act as a dog and kill this thing.  I realize that you don't like salad, but your master does, and that should be good enough.

Dear Master.  Get over it.  I am a pet.  I am cute when required, I fetch frisbees and bring them back.  I tolerate the snotty little kids you keep pushing on me.  I keep the squirrels from attacking the house.  I do enough.


Anonymous said...

Thanks for all the dirt you reveal, Harold.
Peter of de Hummin Lines near Peterboro.

Penny said...

If the dog was hungry maybe?
But if not? No way.

Harold Asmis said...

I had a previous dog of the same size who was a hunter. At the cottage she found a small groundhog and had in her jaws, wide open, and the groundhog was fat and jiggling. Needless to say it just bounced out and ran away. It had its revenge when it led her into a crack in the rock and she was stuck. Took us a long time to get her out.