Dear Dog, as you are aware there is a baby groundhog living in our garden. It has eaten all the kale, peas, and lettuce. You are a dog. As part of your employment agreement, you are required to act as a dog and kill this thing. I realize that you don't like salad, but your master does, and that should be good enough.
Dear Master. Get over it. I am a pet. I am cute when required, I fetch frisbees and bring them back. I tolerate the snotty little kids you keep pushing on me. I keep the squirrels from attacking the house. I do enough.