Monday, July 23, 2018

The Autobiography of Sam Smith - 4

I, Sam Smith, continue to write this, of no interest to anybody.  This is the truth, as I see it, as trumpy would say.  The New Truth, and nothing but the New Truth, as determined by the PR department.

With my shiny Masters I entered the workforce.  With my friends, I was hired next door by the BFU, or Big Frackin' Utility.  Nobody who is outside the Kingdom of Rantaria can understand how big bfu was, rest in peace.  It controlled every aspect of the lives of the 10 million peasants, decided everything, and told the king what to do.

The bfu was a monopoly, and money showered like rain.  In the bowels of their back rooms, they decided the future of Rantaria.  They read the tea leaves and decided that electricity growth would be 7% per year, forever.  All the dams had been maxed out, and they had to go nuclear.  They chose sites where they had some land and started building.

The first was Dougie Point, on a speck of land with absolutely the worst rock in the world.  They didn't worry about the foundation because they were the bfu, by God, second only to her.  This was cheap land by the water, and that was that.  They also built a giant heavy water plant.  Now, the past is murky because in those days everything was built by The Weenies, a secret government organization that processed uranium for the first atomic bomb, and spilled radiation all over the land.  So, I don't really know why they went to that land.

Dougie Point, or dp was the first civilian nuclear plant built by the weenies.  Throughout their existence, they made the three stooges look competent.  This nuclear plant could light a house on a good day.  It was a general disaster, but set the main design components for all future nuclear plants in the Empire of Canoodle, so naturally,  rantaria had to go with it.  Okay, the bfu said, let's build something that can light 2 houses!

Thus began the procession of scaling up the nuclear plant, when they had no idea of the physics for the scaling laws.  'Just make it bigger!' they would shout, and thus it was.

As a sidenote, the bfu totally rejected the idea of buying power from the neighbouring kingdom of Quincy.  They hated those guys with a passion.  Quincy had very far dams, and power lines they stretched to the limit.  The power was so unreliable that you could hardly turn on the lights long enough to light a candle.  The bfu learned that nuclear plants had to be close to the demand.

Also at that time Quincy had decided only to speak freshy.  All non-freshies were booted out of the country.  This started first in engineering when their utility BFF, or Big Frackin' Freshies decided they would only hire freshies for building power stations, building bridges.  Not anything wrong with freshies, but they were now fishing from a smaller cess pool, and things went totally corrupt very fast.  Look at how long their stuff has lasted.  No engineer in rantaria could talk to them.  Their graduate engineers came from universities that had recently been churning out philosophers. priests and lawyers.

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