Thursday, April 1, 2010

No reactor for Sask.


Mercer-type rant:

Research reactors cannot be doled out to intellectual wastelands of the country. We need a new spot to replace depressing Chalk River, and Sask. ain't it! Since I am the spokesman for Canadian Intellectual Depressives, I can tell you that no CID can survive in a backwater! Look at that poor guy whose body is still waiting for the spring thaw, and the blackflies to leave. Could he stand Deep River? Would he have been able to stand Moose Jaw? Why not put a nuclear research centre on the coke wastes of Cape Breton?

No, I'm suggesting we take over Port Hope. All the nuclear CID's move there and pitch out the locals! We'll put in a nice accelerator, buy a South Korean Maple, and do some world-class work. The money will attract a bullet train link to Toronto and Montreal! World-class partying!

The rock is perfect, so we'll put in a huge, dry underground waste conversion temporary processing storage. We'll say all those confusing words to confuse people, since we have no intention of splitting open those fuel bundles. We'll have rock concerts in the huge caverns that are waiting to get filled! The used fuel will provide free heat for everyone! We've got to get it good enough so we can poach talent from all over the world! Do you think those guys want to go to Armpit-ville?

This will work, and when we have enough talent again, we can actually make commercial reactors that work! Let all those old nuclear union-guys retire in their quaint little remote villages, we will take over the world!

*please note that I have offended everybody in the world. Thank god nobody reads this! :)


Harbles said...

Yet the feds just gave a bunch of money to U of Alberta to do research into Linac Isotope production whereas it was UBC Triumf that submitted to the Special Advisory panel for consideration of linac isotope production, meanwhile the panel recommended a totaly new Isotope production reactor. SNAFU
Our tax dollars at work!

Harbles said...

Oops I said Feds. I meant Cons.