Wednesday, June 14, 2017

Getting Ready for Canada-Cannabis Day - Part 1

One year from now we will be celebrating Canada's 151'st birthday.  But nobody cares about that, since it is really Cannabis Day.

I'm starting the series early, since it's time to start planning.  All things in italics are for legal purposes.  I am suitable to instruct since I have had endless disasters, and not a single success.  Everything I write here is for entertainment purposes and has no basis in reality.

You don't want to buy that crap off the street.  Old people should say they are losing their memory, and get a prescription.  I'm trying to get all the old people around me to go that route, but no success yet.  It is best that you grow your own.  We are talking pharmaceutical hemp here, since there is no THC in the plants until the day you harvest.

With all my disasters, I emphasize that you need a hydroponic system if you are imagining that you are growing in your imaginary garage.  The garage is full of that nasty fungus which lives in the soil, and kills everything.

In this first part, you can starting thinking about where you want to put your vertical farm.  And farm it is, for a while, since I have found that the best thing you can do is grow microgreens to get things settled.  You need a 4x4 x 7 feet high grow tent, and you can clean out a corner to put it in.

Perhaps later in the fall, we can discuss getting the system booted up to grow peas and sunflower sprouts.

-- to be continued

ps.  I got some letters already.

Dear Fish, you are an idiot.  Why should I follow instructions from someone who has never had a success?
-signed Humourless Grump

Dear Grump, You are correct.  You should go to the Dark Web and follow the anonymous instructions from professional growers who want to sell you stuff.  That's how I started.

Dear Fish, you are pathetic.  I will not raise a finger to go after you.
-signed Big Trumpy Cop

Dear Trumpy.  You are so smart.

Dear Fish, I've heard this stuff is bad for you.
-signed Inno Cent

Dear Inno, The years of prosecution have made this very bad indeed.  Due to the regime, cannybis has evolved to pure concentrated thc.  This is processed with explosive devices into a pellet of 100% thc.  Do not use this stuff!  It will kill you, unless you are a cigarette smoker, then don't worry about it.  If you are a teenager, forget all about your hopes and dreams.  You can be brilliant, but you'll end up on midnight tech support forever.

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