I still think I went through infinitely too much trouble, but Asus is now shipping a new eeebox by express courier. Obviously, one of the 30 email addresses may have penetrated.
Since I am standing on top of this popular blog that nobody ever clicks on, I had an advantage. If you look up Asus Service, I'm the top hit. I withdrew my witty post, but it will live on in infamy.
What could Asus do to repair the damage? Will I ever order any Asus product, through cheap internet channels? Do I have any confidence in them? Do I have to give up in their superior products and descend to old Acer, because of this fear? Who knows?
Hint to Asus: Click on my ads!
I really do feel sorry for you.